In the past, i’ve talked about how to spot a narcissist, as well as
the various stages of a relationship with a narcissist. but I want to dive into the details of what it’s like to be in a relationship
with a narcissist, and the specifics of narcissistic abuse.
Before we dive in, I do want to clarify that I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
I’ve just read extensively on this topic, since I’ve experienced narcissistic abuse
After I left my last and worst relationship with a narcissist, it felt like waking up

from a trance, and I wanted to make sure I would never let myself fall for that sort
of trap ever again.
And if this understanding can help others either avoid narcissistic abuse or process
their past experiences, then that would be wonderful.
In the past, we’ve talked about what Narcissists are after – adulation, influence, status,
but most importantly – control.
In order to gain control over people, narcissists first appear to be the most charming, easy
to get along with people.
In the beginning of the relationship between Harry and Meghan, we saw Meghan turning on
the charm, playing the perfect part of a woman ready to take on the role of “one of the
family” with Harry.
But some of you more observant people saw the small signs that she was lying especially

when her facade slipped.
Harry – “I don’t know if it’s something new.
For me it’s an added member of the family.
It’s another team player as part of the bigger team”
Meghan turned on the charm for the rest of the family too, playing along with their expectation.
But there were plenty of members of the royal family that she couldn’t fool, like Prince
Philip, HMTQ, Princess Anne, and Prince William and Katherine.
And of course, there were plenty of instances like the dress fitting for the bridesmaids,
the tiara for her wedding, and her treatment of staff that showed her true nature.

But by this time, Harry was clearly already hooked on Meghan.
And this is a very important piece to note.
Relationships with a narcissist can feel like an addiction, and narcissists design it this
The addiction becomes very blinding, and pretty soon you find yourself doing whatever is needed
to keep the narcissist happy.
Hence, Harry’s comment – what Meghan wants Meghan gets.
Since Harry was so blind to Meghan’s true nature, and everyone else was so appalled
by her behavior, I’m sure to Harry it must have been so shocking that his family didn’t
love her the way he did.
This is where the poisonous words of a narcissist start working over time.
When a narcissist fails to convince someone how absolutely wonderful they are – in this
case Harry’s family and friends – the next step is to cut those people out by labeling
them as toxic or vicious, or in this case racist.

And to a confused Harry, who is utterly beguiled by Meghan, racism probably sounded like a
reasonable answer for why his brother, his father, his grandfather, his aunt, and so
many other people were telling him to take it slow with the woman of his dreams.
Narcissists have this unbelievable talent of reading people, identifying their fears
and insecurities, and then fiddling with these fears to control a person.
Like I’ve mentioned before, Meghan quickly realized that Harry had not properly processed
his mother’s death, and knew that she could press on that sore point to get what she wanted.
To control the press, to make sure they’re never critical of her, she pushes the narrative
that they’re hunting her and trying to kill her like they did Princess Diana.
In the documentary Harry made with Oprah, The me you can’t see, Harry talks about
this, and it was almost comical that even when they’re trying to prove that Meghan
was being hunted by the press like Diana, it’s so blatantly false.
Looks at these two clips.
Diana’s experience with the press vs. Meghan’s is extremely different.
It’s not even in the same category.

In the same documentary, Harry also talks about how Diana was hunted and harassed because
she was dating a person of color.
But the most shocking thing to come of the documentary was about the night Harry and
Meghan attended an engagement at the Royal Albert Hall.
One of the ways that narcissists assert control in relationships is by threatening to leave.
To a person in a relationship with the narcissist, someone who is completely hooked, dependent,
madly in love, the idea that the narcissist would leave them feels utterly devastating.
In this case, Meghan wanted something very specific, she wanted Harry to leave the royal
family, and to move away from his home country with her and their child.
To get this, to get him leave his world, Meghan told him that she wanted to kill herself,

and proceeded to tell him exactly how she was planning to do it.
Here’s Harry describing the situation.
Harry – “Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities
of how she was going to end her life.
The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after
everything that had happened to my mum, and now to be put in a position of losing another
woman in my life.”
Make no mistake, this right here is narcissistic abuse.
Meghan is using the threat of suicide as a way to remind him that he has plenty to lose
if he doesn’t fall in line with her demands.
It’s a very cruel card to play since I’m sure it triggered all sorts of fear and trauma

for Harry.
And I’m sure this isn’t the only time that Meghan has used similar threats to exert
control over him.
I agree with Candace Owens here who said –
“I cannot say enough that Prince Harry is in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Meghan has groomed him to believe that she is his mother reincarnate—only this time,
he has a chance to save her.

This is an incredibly sad situation and during the documentary we can see just how unraveled
Harry really is.
Everything is changed about him.
He thinks the press is racist, he says his family was never there for him when he was
mourning his mother, and that he didn’t go into therapy until Meghan pushed him to
do it 4 years ago.
He also says that he’s never really enjoyed being a working royal, and that he felt like
he was treated poorly by the family, sent wherever the rest didn’t want to go, because

he was a yes man.
And finally, he says that flying into London, the city that’s been his home all his life,
has always been triggering.
But there are so many inconsistencies here.
He said that he’d gotten into therapy 7 years ago and his brother pushed him to do
During a conversation he, William and Katherine had for heads together, he said that William
pushed him to talk more about their mother’s death.
He said that his father helped him cope after his mother’s death.
As far as his work, he always seemed to enjoy himself, and photographers that traveled with
Prince Harry always said that he had a great relationship with the press and always seemed
the most engaged.
This is yet another consequence of a relationship with a narcissist and that is the rewriting
of history.
Harry himself has admitted that he didn’t feel trapped in his life until Meghan helped
him see that.
As part of exerting control in a narcissistic relationship, is to convince a person that

they need you, that they’ve rescued you from your misery, that you are under their
care, and they will protect you.
It’s a strange dynamic where to the narcissist your are their property.
You are not an independent person with a will of you own, no you belong to them, and you
need to listen to them, because they know better, and have your best interests in mind.
It’s this manipulation that has changed Harry from an independent man to Meghan’s
He is her foot soldier, seeing the world as she’s defined it for him, and looking at
his family, friends, and past as she’s described it to him.
So if it feels like we don’t recognize Prince Harry at all – it’s because he is 100% under
the control of a narcissist.
The thing is that Harry was someone who invited all of this in.
It’s very clear that Harry has not been in a healthy mental place since his mother
He’s been lost, that is until Meghan found him.

And he feels like Meghan is saving him, when in fact, Meghan is using him, controlling
him, for her own means.
And this was certainly my experience of narcissists.
After coming out of the relationship I mentioned above, I realized that this man had used my
insecurities to first create safety for me, and then use it to control and manipulate
After understanding that one point, my trajectory changed forever.
And I hope it helps other people understand narcissistic abuse and control too.
Well, what do you all think?
Did you watch “The Me you can’t see?”
what did you think about the details Harry shared of his relationship with Meghan and
with his family?
In a separate video, I want to look deeper into Harry’s experience of his mother’s
death and how and why it has contrasted heavily with the way Prince William has handled his grief.
If you would be interested in that video, please let me know in the comments.


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